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Whichever of those fantasies this erotic game is trying to create, unnhh!

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Putting out the fire takes a few minutes, and while you're doing it, the only thing natives can do is throw rocks at the strange flying machine stealing their lunch.

And just like you'd expect, a rock gay men in there 50 nude no match for a helicopter dangling a naked man with a groin that can put out forest fires. The actual rescue is simple, but your only reward is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it animation of a half-monster woman sixty-nining you.

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There's no reason to And if riding out of the jungle biting on the end of a man's unit didn't give you a good indication of how smart this woman is, it takes this dumbass all of three seconds to find mem way from your face back to the native people's cooking pot to start the whole ordeal over. The Yakyuken Special is a complicated game.

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First you select from a stable of cute Japanese girls to play Rock-Paper-Scissors against. Actually, "cute" isn't the right word for all of them.

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Some of these girls are at least half donkey. After you pick one, she politely gives her name, measurements and age, and then challenges you to Rock-Paper-Scissors.

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If you win, she removes a piece of clothing. Then there's a video of her dancing.

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But not a sexy, stripper dance. All the girls dance like adorable bouncing princesses.

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Run away from the man with the camera--run away as fast as you can! Of course, this is a game from Japan.

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We should just be happy that an octopus demon didn't slither into the room and take a crap on her forehead. The innocence never leaves these dancing girls' faces. There are times where gsy swear they have no idea that getting naked and dancing on a Sega Saturn is naughty.

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They have the same demeanor they'd have if they were performing in a talent show for their grandmothers. That means that no matter how naked they get, you, the player, are the one who feels dirty.

Here's the thing, though: That doesn't make it less hot.

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Because whether you're innocently smiling while you hop in your underwear or climbing a sleazy juice-bar's pole with your vagina, if you're an Asian teenager, perverted old men are going to like it. Each strip-showdown lasts until someone loses five times.

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By that time, it's either game over, or you're watching a prancing nude girl spread the spirit of friendship with her smile and exposed nipples. The Yakyuken Special is unleashed! Unfortunately, this game cheats. I swear it fucking cheats.

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Statistically, in Rock-Paper-Scissors, you should win about half the games. Here you maybe win one out of every 50 games.

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If you manage to spend the time and effort required to get a girl in this game to adorably peel her panties off, you probably could have gotten laid 30 to 40 times by actual women. The Yakyuken Special is like buying a stack therw porno and only letting yourself read it if you can call a coin-flip 50 times in a row.

That being said, believe thee You can lose at this game for 10 hours and spend each minute of it happy. For censorship reasons, all genitalia referred gqy in this particular review have had their gay men in there 50 nude names replaced with the name of a vehicle. With your Gigolo game cartridge and a little imagination, you and your Atari could go gay isaiah movie washington an exciting ride into the world of street prostitution.

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The object of the game is to gay men in there 50 nude from door to door and hump any men you find inside. When you find a customer, the game switches to an action sequence of you riding his throbbing Dune Buggy in his unfurnished apartment. Press the joystick up to shift your Hovercraft to the tip of his Fire Truck, meen press the joystick down to slide your Rollerskate back down to the base of gay teen video streaming Speedboat.

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You receive one dollar for each of these successful humps. When the Tjere is finished with you, you'll know, because he'll kick your cheap Dirtbike out onto the sidewalk. It's then up to you have to navigate through the empty streets and return the money to your pimp's walk-up window.

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